Quantcast
Keep tabs on the REAL McCain
Contribute to Brave New Films
21 Reasons Why McCain’s VP Pick is HILARIOUS! (a work in progress)
Posted on August 29th, 2008 by DJK -

Previously, I’d seen John McCain’s VP pick as a no-win situation. He couldn’t pick Joe Lieberman because he’s Jewish and pro-choice (angering evangelicals), couldn’t pick Mitt Romney because he’s Mormon (angering evangelicals), and couldn’t pick Mike Huckabee since he’s a religious fundamentalist (angering independents). Seemed like Tim Pawlenty would be a safe, boring choice that wouldn’t excite anyone, especially since no one knows who he is.

But McCain’s choice of Alaska’s Sarah Palin shows that, by attempting to think outside the box, McCain has found a previously undiscovered way to lose a no-win situation. Seriously, choosing Palin is utterly ridiculous. Here are just a few reasons that I thought of without really trying:

1. Completely undercuts one of McCain’s main arguments against Barack Obama — that Obama lacks the experience to be president. If Obama isn’t experienced enough, what the hell is Palin? Should be hilarious to watch McCain and the republicans try to answer that one.

2. Introduces an issue that has not gotten nearly as much attention as it should — McCain’s age and health. It’s clear that McCain’s brain is already deteriorating, and with his advanced age, Palin is less than a heartbeat away from being president — it’s more like a half beat. Does anyone, including republicans, feel secure with the prospect of president Palin?

3. Alaska is already a republican state. No votes to pick up there.

4. McCain’s pick shows that he has essentially bought his own propaganda, believing that there are scads of Hillary Clinton supporters who won’t back Obama and need a reason to vote for McCain. While McCain and the corporate media spent all week talking about this phantom demographic, I think there are only a tiny number of such women who were given a disproportionately loud voice by the McCain campaign and the media trying to stir up trouble. If there are such women, my guess is that they were mostly disgusted republicans who were willing to cross party lines to see a woman become president. If there were any more, Hillary’s strong statements at the DNC will have left no doubt what supporting Hillary really means — voting with the democrats.

5. This is sure to infuriate the very powerful sexist wing of the republican party. I can’t imagine Rush Limbaugh supporting a woman president of any party.

6. Palin is in the middle of an investigation over whether she used her influence to get her former brother-in-law, State Trooper Mike Wooten, fired. When Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan refused to fire Wooten, Monegan was suddenly fired. Palin and her administration forcefully claimed they had nothing to do with it, but they had to reverse that stance when a tape surfaced of a call with one of her staff saying that Palin wanted Wooten fired. Firing dedicated public servants (a state trooper, no less), for political/personal reasons? DOJ attorney scandal, anyone?

7. Soon to be a YouTube sensation, Palin said in a CNBC interview that she doesn’t want to entertain the notion of being vice president until “someone answers for me what is it exactly the VP does everyday?” Why can’t she find out for herself? Don’t they have books and the internet in Alaska? If someone said I might be chosen as VP, I would find out myself what the VP does, not wait for someone to explain it to me. Maybe, like McCain and Bush, Palin is still learning how to use “a Google”.

8. Palin was the chairwoman of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, which “oversees oil and gas drilling, development and production, reservoir depletion and metering operations on all lands subject to the state's police powers”. Just the change America needs — another VP looking to enrich the oil industry. Totally undercuts McCain’s claim that he bucks the repubs by being more green and is not in the pocket of Big Oil. 

9. Zero foreign policy experience. McCain attacked Obama for not visiting Iraq enough while Palin has never gone. The only possible concern in a Biden/Palin debate is that Biden crushes her so badly that she starts crying and people feel sorry for her.

10. Does McCain have any relationship at all with Palin? What in their “history” convinced him that she should be president? Does even McCain know?

11. Obama and Biden seem like a team — two smart men with different specialties who can advise each other and play off each other’s strengths, much like Bill Clinton and Al Gore. What does Palin bring to the table? What advice will McCain seek from her?

12. Palin thinks creationism should be taught in schools. Enough said.

13. Palin is anti-choice. While this might make the 10% of Americans who want all abortions outlawed happy, it will alienate the vast majority of Americans. Not everyone knows that McCain wants Roe vs. Wade overturned and will do so if he can get more Supreme Court justices, and when they find that out, they run from McCain. Now they have one more person to run from.

14. Palin doesn’t think humans have caused climate change. Another knock on McCain’s attempts at greenwashing.

15. If Palin became president, do you really think the Cheneys and Rumsfelds of the world would let her do anything? They'd send her to a quiet corner while the big boys took care of things. She’d just be another oil/corporate stooge, just like Bush.

16. Palin becoming president would do for women what Alberto Gonzales has done for Latinos and what Condoleeza Rice has done for black women — set them back a decade or more.

17. This is an example of McCain’s superior judgment?

18. Just try imagining a McCain/Palin in 2008 poster. Yeah, neither can I. And when I do, I get a hearty chuckle.

19. If McCain truly thinks that America is facing enormous challenges and dire threats from terrorists, Iran, Russia, China, and a crippled economy, why would he pick Palin to possibly be the leader of the free world?

20. The Alaska republican party is in tatters as it attempts to handle multiple corruption scandals.

21. President Palin, leader of the free world. Just say it aloud. Everyone feel safer?

I’m sure this list will continue to grow and grow. Palin and the McCain campaign just ran into a buzzsaw of their own creation. I wouldn’t be surprised if Palin withdraws her name before the election.

Viewing 10 Comments

    • ^
    • v

    Sarah is a normal person...and that scares the hell out of the Democrats!
    News flash...everyone in our country is not for the freeks and the fuc- ups that
    devour our Constitution in every aspect! Give it up...start giving and quit taking.

    • ^
    • v

    O.K. let me see if I understand what you guys are saying. McCain will lie to us just like Bush...... Well I've got a news flash for you, they are politicians of course they will lie. The Clintons are crooks they were flying drugs into Mena, Ar. while they were living in Little Rock. And have we all forgotten about whitewater? And as for Bush, don"t get me started. There is no way you can make me beleive that he would have won the election if it were not for the fact that his brother was the govenor. Of course, if John Kerry would have won, just think how much we would be paying for a bottle of ketchup right now. What we have to choose from are two politicians, neither one are republican, regardless of what McCain tries to tell you, and neither one can be trusted. Both of them are hoping that we are stupid enough think that they really concerned about America. Every time they open their mouths, the first thing they say is " what America wants/needs" and neither one of them have a damn clue. Obama has stopped referring to his preacher as his mentor because he is afraid he will lose the election.He has ignored the fact that China is crushing American businesses by using unfair trading practices. He refuses to see that illegal aliens are killing our econemy.He blames the republicans for the gas prices, but the gas prices didn't rise untill Nancy Pulosey and her band of merry dems. took over. I agree with you guys that McCain isn't much of a choice, but unfortunatly right now he is our only choice.

    • ^
    • v

    The show “Ally McBeal” was on the air in the late nineties and even though it had a loyal following, it eventually disappeared.
    When the dancing baby came along, it had no apparent relation to the story, nothing distinctive, but it was the dancing baby and it was cute.
    Everyone fell in love with it.
    The baby had some moves; I am sure it could do other things that babies do, but it did not matter. It was the dancing baby and it was cute.
    Soon the dancing baby became more popular than the stars, more important than the story, bigger than the show.
    It was on video, in magazines and on the internet.
    Some nay-sayers could have said the baby was only one-dimensional in spite of appearances, but they were fortunate to keep it to themselves. It was the dancing baby and it was cute.
    Finally, one day, the dancing baby was gone. It probably grew up and out of our collective mind, and probably not a baby anymore. But somehow, some event brought it back to my mind.
    Did I mention how cute she was?

    • ^
    • v

    Anonymous summed it up. But you don't have to convince me. Why don't Republicans see that Palin is nothing more than a McCain campaign marketing technique? Maybe they do, but they are party first, country second.

    • ^
    • v

    I made a comment a few days ago, and said that I felt Governor Palin should have said no to Senator McCain's request for her to be his VP running mate. Based upon the national attention that goes with such an office and considering all the issues that Governor Palin appears to be involved in, it's only natural that most folks, like myself, might think she would best serve her home State of Alaska by at least, remaining its Governor. With the most recent issue concerning her involvement with the affairs of her ex-brother-in-law's firing (the Alaskan State Trooper) and the attempt she has made to avoid testimony to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, it once again appears that Senator McCain has made yet another poor decision and choice. I ask anyone who reads this comment to go to the other comments I've posted and read them also. Just as sure as I'm writing this, I believe it will come to pass that as long as Senator McCain continues along this path, making poor choices as he is doing, he will not succeed in winning the White House in November. His ability to make sound decisions is greatly diminished by the people he surrounds himself with. It appears that Governor Palin has something to hide. The last thing the American public needs in the White House for the next 4 yrs.+ is another branch of Government hiding facts from the public. If Governor Palin has nothing to hide, she would better serve Senator McCain by stepping up to the plate and confronting the issue, but then again, Senator McCain's ability to confront the economic issue in this country is to form a "commission" to investigate and then get back to him, (sometime next year?). I'm telling you folks, Senator McCain still doesn't get it!! It's time for the American citizen to realize that we're simply tired of waiting until next month, next year, next fall.. what? we'll just sit around and wait? wait for what?, for John McCain to be elected? What we want is change.. Hmmmm... I'm thinking.. who said that first? Oh yeah.. it was Barack Obama.

    • ^
    • v

    Anonymous I agree with the sentiments 100%, but you didn't write this and should really acknowledge the author, this has been floating around on the internet or a week or so now.

    • ^
    • v

    I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.... .

    If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

    However, grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're a quintessential American story.

    If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic "Muslim" (who, by the way, is a Christian).

    However, name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you're a "maverick".

    Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

    However, attend 5 different small colleges before graduating with an undergraduate degree in Journalism and you're well educated and grounded.

    If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law Professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs Committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

    However, if your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade of life.

    If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

    However, if you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a
    true Christian.

    If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

    However, if, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only (and teaching only abstinence) with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant while under your direct supervision, you are very responsible.

    If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.

    However, if your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is extremely admirable.

    Oh okay, I get it now

    • ^
    • v

    Sarah Palin exhibits many of the classic characteristics of a psychopath. That beyond her apparent lack of experience makes her a frightening prospect.

    • ^
    • v

    hey dookie were you born stupid? or did ya work your whole life at it? stupid ass theyre both gonna take your money! freakin idiot

    • ^
    • v

    I have a new economy plan.
    I will rescue the USA.
    God bless me.

close Reblog this comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
Search the The REAL McCain blog
The REAL McCain Bloggers

Robert Greenwald
director/producer/activist
produced/directed Iraq for Sale
ZP Heller
editorial director
Brave New Films
Jonathan Kim
story producer/blogger
FOX Attacks